WEEK TEN PICKS
Er, another tie last week, with both Tim and the no longer taken lightly bag of bolts O/D Ranks computer both losing. Scoreboard update: Tim 2, Computer 1 (with two ties).
Another way of scoring (as my detractors are so quick to point out) is by overall record rather than weekly scores. By that wicked counting scheme, the computer is 7-4 while mighty Tim is 6-4-1.
If you missed the beginning of all this you can visit the Week 5 Picks for a rehash.
Time for our weekly humor interlude, and yes, it's back to Monty Python land. This week it's one of the all-time classics:
The Spam Sketch
Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.
Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!
-- Monty Python's Flying Circus
Aaah ha ha! Ha! Ha! OOh! Ha! Ha! ah yes, feeling much better after that.
Back to business, it's me vs the O/D Ranks machine spewing forth its venemous data (yeah, there was some research article posted about all this O/D line nonsense, Read it here).
To Battle then!
The O/D Machine whirrs and grates, clangs and bangs, rocks and socks, churns and learns and ultimately spits out the trio of selections --
the rules for Mr. O/D Computer are that a pick only qualifies if the O/D Line is 7 points away from the vegas spread. Thus my foe goes for: Houston, Carolina, and Denver.
Without resorting to devious bits and bytes bottlenecks to solve this connundrum, mojo working professional football bettor mister Tim is ready to take back command in this challenge.
That's correct, I'm going with one should-be-retired-by-now QB, and two up-and-comer snaptakers to trump the computer picks
